Vulnerable ≠ Weak

I'm in two minds about putting this up, mainly because it's a bit too personal and too 'bare-all' for my liking. However, as this is a blog to house my experiences, from the mundane to the not-so-mundane, I suppose I should really put it up in the hopes that someone out there who feels the same as I do, won't feel quite as alone as I do. So, I guess without further ado, in the hopes that you will find comfort...here goes...

I don't really cry...not in public anyway, but something happened on my way home that just made me realise just how vulnerable I can be and I began to feel emotional on the bus home from my weekly volunteering at the Shooting Star Fundraising Office. No, I didn't give into the temptation of letting the floodgates open - I would never have been able to live with myself if I did - but what made me feel so broken, was the simple act of tripping on a kerb I didn't see in time because I was too busy walking to avoid a car pulling out and adjusting my torch.

It's silly, I know, but I've been encountering events that have chipped away at my confidence to function at night/low-light while my eyes are still working okay. I mean, I've tripped up in the past and I've usually chalked it up to clumsiness, but now that I know there's something wrong with me...I just wonder if the signs have been there all along. However, nearly a month ago now, I fell off the bus because I couldn't see the gap between it and the kerb, and hurt my foot in the process by landing on it quite badly...I don't think I broke anything, but it aches a little now and again. I didn't quite realise what had happened and sort of sat there in a daze, when a woman who had seen me fall lifted me up to my feet and continued on with her family as I limped to the nearby bus shelter.

The event was followed a few weeks later by missing the last step on the second-to-last flight of stairs. I had attended a meeting with my boss at a heritage site - Ham House - and I understand that they don't use lights in case of damage, but unfortunately the natural light didn't help much. I landed on my other foot this time, but luckily it didn't hurt as much. The incident with the kerb happened a week later, and it dawned on me as I sat on the bus home, that I'll never be able to function efficiently at all soon. Sure, there's treatments in development, but I'm not really all too keen in having cybernetic implants that require an external power source...maybe something a little discreet perhaps? I can't believe I'm being vain about this...I guess it's the girl in me, seeing as I'm quite butch in my thought processes otherwise. Anyway, by the time I need them, therapies and treatments may have been perfected - so bright side!

Final Fantasy I and II for the iPhone?!

So, surfing through the Apps available on the iPhone, I decide to browse the games - I love playing video games; if you came to my house you'll be in awe of the sheer number my brothers and I own. I think I'll take a picture and put it up, though there's hardly any point as the collection keeps growing. However, the more games I buy, the more I have to get through and so I have a great number in backlog...there's just not enough time in the day - what with work, TV and sleep!

Anyway, while browsing the games, I'm surprised to find that Square-Enix has actually released the first two games in the Final Fantasy series. Looking at the screens, the graphics, while still 2D sprites, are actually quite nice! However, this makes me wonder what version of the game this was ported from - it's been so long since I last popped in my Final Fantasy: Origins for the PSX that I'm not sure if it was ported from that...What if it's ported from the PSP or the DS version of the game? Or perhaps even the Wii?

Actually...I just Wiki-ed it and it turns out the iPhone version is a port of the PSP version.

Now I'm faced with a dilemma...since I actually like the graphics for these ports...should I buy the PSP version? Perhaps the load times will be faster? You see, what ultimately prevented me from completing Final Fantasy II were the awful load times upon enemy encounter.

This is all quite perplexing, especially when considering the scenario for a comic-strip I have yet to draw...Yes, I'm a comic fan too and an anime and manga one as well.