Vulnerable ≠ Weak

I'm in two minds about putting this up, mainly because it's a bit too personal and too 'bare-all' for my liking. However, as this is a blog to house my experiences, from the mundane to the not-so-mundane, I suppose I should really put it up in the hopes that someone out there who feels the same as I do, won't feel quite as alone as I do. So, I guess without further ado, in the hopes that you will find comfort...here goes...

I don't really cry...not in public anyway, but something happened on my way home that just made me realise just how vulnerable I can be and I began to feel emotional on the bus home from my weekly volunteering at the Shooting Star Fundraising Office. No, I didn't give into the temptation of letting the floodgates open - I would never have been able to live with myself if I did - but what made me feel so broken, was the simple act of tripping on a kerb I didn't see in time because I was too busy walking to avoid a car pulling out and adjusting my torch.

It's silly, I know, but I've been encountering events that have chipped away at my confidence to function at night/low-light while my eyes are still working okay. I mean, I've tripped up in the past and I've usually chalked it up to clumsiness, but now that I know there's something wrong with me...I just wonder if the signs have been there all along. However, nearly a month ago now, I fell off the bus because I couldn't see the gap between it and the kerb, and hurt my foot in the process by landing on it quite badly...I don't think I broke anything, but it aches a little now and again. I didn't quite realise what had happened and sort of sat there in a daze, when a woman who had seen me fall lifted me up to my feet and continued on with her family as I limped to the nearby bus shelter.

The event was followed a few weeks later by missing the last step on the second-to-last flight of stairs. I had attended a meeting with my boss at a heritage site - Ham House - and I understand that they don't use lights in case of damage, but unfortunately the natural light didn't help much. I landed on my other foot this time, but luckily it didn't hurt as much. The incident with the kerb happened a week later, and it dawned on me as I sat on the bus home, that I'll never be able to function efficiently at all soon. Sure, there's treatments in development, but I'm not really all too keen in having cybernetic implants that require an external power source...maybe something a little discreet perhaps? I can't believe I'm being vain about this...I guess it's the girl in me, seeing as I'm quite butch in my thought processes otherwise. Anyway, by the time I need them, therapies and treatments may have been perfected - so bright side!

Review: Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 - COMPLETE

I seriously am getting quite tardy with my updates on this blog; the last one was on 12/11/10 - I suppose it's not bad, but considering how long I've been planning on having this post up...Actually, I only really completed this game - Trophies and all - last week.

It's odd when I think about it; I'm not really much of a Naruto fan, but I did enjoy this game and it's strangely the first game I've ever got a Platinum in - I always thought it'd be Bayonetta, since I'm about 10 easy Trophies away; what's taken me so long is completing that blasted Alfheim Portal on Hard so I can get the Umbran Tear! I got so close then lost my cool and died carelessly on the last wave - it's what happens when I get excited about reaching a long-awaited goal...

Anyway, back to Naruto. I watched the anime as soon as it came out and followed it religiously until the fillers kicked in. Close to 100 episodes of filler just so they didn't have to take a break until the release of the next arc, which was still being penned by the author! It was the fillers that killed it for me; despite not being canon, they were so badly written and consisted of 3-4 episode story arcs, which while offered time to expand on the characters not heavily featured, just grated on me with how lame they were. As soon as the 'Curry of Life' arc rolled along, I thought enough...just no.

I can't really remember much about them and this wasn't meant to be a vent post about the anime anyway, so let's focus on the game. I haven't played Ultimate Ninja Storm I, so I'm kind of doing this backwards - I did order it, however, and will play it after White Knight Chronicles. Then again, from my understanding, the UNS series basically recaps the story so far, so UNSI covers the story up until Naruto: Shippuden - again, I watched it as soon as it aired, and switched off as soon as the fillers came on; I haven't kept up since. I know I can always pick up the manga, but if what I've heard from my brother and my perusals of Wiki are anything to go by, I'm glad I chose not to. The end of Sasuke's Revenge arc seen in the game just further facilitates my reasons for not getting too deep into the series, though I will be buying UNSIII if and when it comes out.

Valkyria Chronicles II Ordeal: base.com; SEGA and LoveFilm

Buying a game online should be a relatively simple task correct? Pre-ordering is a bit of a challenge, depending on how anticipated the title is. I bought Valkyria Chronicles I a long time after it had been released and have yet to make time to complete it - currently it's competing with a few titles I'm playing consecutively: Blue Dragon; Professor Layton and the Lost Future; White Knight Chronicles; Last Rebellion; Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles; Final Fantasy II; Final Fantasy III; Final Fantasy V; Final Fantasy VI; Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearer; Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness; Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility; Tales of Eternia; Tales of Legendia; Agarest: Generations of War and clean-up on Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 (review pending) and Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep. Oh, as well as my third time through Fate/Unlimited Codes - not by choice, but because my darn Memory Stick keeps corrupting my save data after a few months of inactivity...Despite playing that many games at once - the majority of which I haven't picked up in years - I still keep buying more and when I do, I'm a glutton for Pre-Order bonuses and Limited Editions...

Which leads me onto the ordeal heading this post.

Valkyria Chronicles II came out two months ago on 03/09/2010 and for those who pre-ordered the game, they were rewarded with a bonus code that allowed exclusive download and access of two Missions that would later be released on the PlayStation Network for purchase - date to be confirmed, though now it's available as part of a bundle of 22 Missions for the humble price of £3.99. Attracted to the offer, I hit Google and searched for the best price and came across the one on base.com for £17.99. I put my pre-order in and waited; rather than what most sellers do and despatch the order in time for release, they despatched it ON release and I didn't get my game until FIVE days later. I forgave them for this, but found that I didn't receive my pre-order code and so I hit customer support.  Now this is probably my fault, but could easily be down to them not writing an accurate description for the product, but according to them they never advertised to offer the code. Either way, I asked for them to offer some assistance in reaching a resolution but there was nothing they could do and since I had opened the game, they couldn't refund it.

Okay, with them not being able to help, I took the next logical step and contacted SEGA - the publishers of the game in the hopes that they could help. They kept sending me back to the retailer, despite the numerous times I told them I had already dealt with them and they eventually said they'll look to see if they had anymore codes available. A few days of waiting later and they replied with a negative - no more codes.

I know what it looks like, all this for a measly code to get two extra Missions before they were released on the PSN. It's the principle! Lame defense, but I was in that frame of mind where I had pre-ordered my game with the intent of being eligible for the extra Missions and had been "robbed" of that - I don't roll over easily and will be tenacious in my endeavour until I have exhausted every rational/acceptable means.

Going for a last ditch effort, I decided to try and see if I could buy another copy of the game - one that clearly advertised providing the code - and came across the one offered by LoveFilm. Yes, I'm also crazy enough to pay for a second copy of the game just to get what I want...what would I have done with the other copy? eBay of course! It had been a month since release by this time - base.com and SEGA had awful response times - and so I contacted LoveFilm before putting in my order willy-nilly, informing them of the situation and asking if they could make an exception in this case. I received a prompt and lovely reply from their customer service rep, which seemed promising, and put in my order. I received my game a week or so later and was informed that the code had been recalled from the manufacturer and once it had arrived it would be e-mailed to me. I waited a month and no code; I don't doubt that LoveFilm did all they could to help me, but seeing that it was now TWO months since the game's release, I thought it was quite pointless/ridiculous hovering around waiting for something that was quite evidently not going to happen.

I managed to get a refund from them for the game - they were lovely all the way - and decided to troll the boards for info on the new Downloadable Missions, as they had been released on the PSN by now. Specifically, I wanted to know if the pack included the two Missions that were pre-order bonuses. Little did I expect to find some news that greatly infuriated me; the two pre-order Missions had been available for free download ALL ALONG! They had been released on the PSN on 01/09/10 - TWO days before the official release! I checked the PSN the day I got my game to see if they were up and couldn't find a thing; the only download at the time was the game itself, which was also released on 01/09/2010. I don't know who to be mad it - myself; fate; SEGA...SEGA seems like a good bet. Surely the publisher of a game that happily sang about the release of the Mission pack on the PSN should ALSO know about the two pre-order Missions being available? I don't expect base.com to know; after all retailers don't give technical support, but they should learn to write accurate product descriptions. I feel awful for putting LoveFilm in the position they were in for trying to help me - there was no way they'd know about the Missions being available on the PSN.

But...SEGA?! How could they not know?! I wasted TWO months in an effort to get what I pre-ordered my game for, and not once did they tell me to shut up and troll the PSN! Their customer service sucks!

</rant>

Marriage Criteria

Marriage is a subject that has come up more than a few times over the years, since I turned 18, and what has caused me to bring it up now is the fact that soon my brothers and I will be the only ones in my family, who have hit and passed 'Marriageable Age', who remain to get hitched. Nearly all of my cousin's who tick that box are either married to each other or some other cousin in the family, and I refuse to marry a cousin who shares my blood - some of my cousin-brothers have been candidates for me despite this tenet, though those were suggested by their parents and not my mother. My mother knows my stance on intra-family marriage, and I will not compromise the health of any future children I may be lucky enough to have.

That being said, any child I do have will be screwed anyway since there's a high likelihood that they'll inherit my condition, and so I have resolved that I will pay any amount there is to ensure my child will be free of this gene. Yes, I'm talking about Genetically Engineering my child since Retinitis Pigmentosa is currently an incurable condition, despite rather excellent recent developments in trial therapies to partially restore sight that remain to be perfected. I do remain optimistic, however, that hopefully at some point a definite cure (or as good as) will come into existence and I may not have to go down that route. I'm all for Genetic Engineering when it has benefits in the long-term, but I know that just like with Plastic Surgery, it will become commercialised and Gattaca* will be that much closer to becoming reality.

Anyway, the main point of this post is to highlight a fear that I have - do I tell any possible marriage candidates the 'small-print' included with their purchase**, or keep schtum and act as surprised and devastated as they are when the symptoms get worse? Being an honest person, I suppose I would most likely tell them at the first instance. However, the rules would be different depending on who's doing the proposing; should it be a run-of-the-mill Arranged Marriage, then I'd tell them there and then with some tactful questioning leading up to it. If it's a boyfriend, then I may be inclined to tell them a little later on...perhaps if they began to see the relationship going long-term, but then they'd have developed feelings for me so may be more inclined to stick with me for a while so as not to seem like a prick...I haven't even told the majority of my friends yet, let alone a non-existent boyfriend! See, it's a tough subject to bring up...I wish there was an easier way to do this, but I figure that since my eyes are okay for now, then there's no point and I should only bring it up in the real problem areas, like going clubbing or to the cinema or to a platonic 'dinner-date'...

There May Be Hope Yet

Not the next post I had in mind - I really should post more often/plan my posts better/make time to actually post - but I heard about this from a colleague at work and just had to share it:

Eye Implant Allows the Blind to See Again

Isn't that exciting?! I probably wouldn't have been as excited if I didn't have RP, but regardless of whether I did or didn't have it, I would definitely have been excited for those who were blind or suffering from the condition - both from an empathic position and a scientific one. I'm no scientist, but I am all for scientific advancement and breakthroughs and it's moments like these where science can be considered beautiful; it doesn't just destroy and cause pain but also brings life and joy.

The article isn't the only route for people with RP to regain their sight; an alternative is highlighted in the following:

Sight Restored to Mice Afflicted with Retinitis Pigmentosa

Looking at that title, it sounds straightforward, but it doesn't say the how...not like the first one. Also it's full of geek-speak, so I'll try and translate/summarise:

A Swiss team have been able to reactivate the cone cells of mice with RP. They have achieved this by introducing a protein via Gene Therapy, which switches the cells 'On'...