Learning to say 'Goodbye'

So watching an older episode of Ugly Betty a second time made me think a little...okay well maybe a lot. The episode was about Daniel reaching Level 7 and finally making peace within himself and saying goodbye to Molly. It was quite a moving episode, though no more so than any other episode of any given series that deals with loss and moving on with one's life.

Learning to say goodbye on an emotional level is a difficult step and perhaps one of the few lessons we learn from our grandparents, or perhaps the very last that we should ideally learn from our parents. Of course life never goes so smoothly nor runs the same course for everyone, no matter how much we'd like to believe otherwise.

Saying 'Goodbye' isn't just limited to coming to terms with the death of someone, either family or friend, but also the loss of someone's general company. It's been over a year since I verbally said goodbye to my best friend of 5 years - she has a debatably strong internet presence, in that she's a Twitter addict, DeviantArtist (read: Photographer) and an eBay troll; all comments made in the fondest way. We had so much in common and I really cared about her, but I guess our fundamental values were different. You see, what drove me to end our friendship was that at some point I was treated more as a groupie than a friend, she also began to impose double-standards and any activity she cancelled with me, she gladly did with someone else. I won't go into the finer details about the 'last straw' as it were, but since then, I've had a hard time getting over it. It's not so bad now, but I think I'm getting pretty close to getting some peace. A year, after all is a short time to get over a friendship that lasted 5 years...I'm thinking I need 2½ at most.

When I really think about what's holding me back, it's the fact that I didn't have the proverbial-non-existent-balls to bide my time on the situation and confront her in person about it, maybe then I could have got the answers that I don't have. The lack of answers is what eats at me most - did I really do something to warrant that attitude from her, and the fact that she doesn't seem the least bit remorseful about hurting me in that way.

Am I worried about her coming across this? Not really, my blog is my business.

Another, more meaningful aspect I have yet to say goodbye to is my sight. Now that's an even tougher subject to make internal peace with; I don't think I'm ready to even poke that subject with a stick from the moon and back. But I know I'll have to face it - not something can avoid after all - but what I worry more about is how my family feel about it...